Visualize yourself behind the wheel of a race car. The power and the importance to stay in control. Living is on the line. You can only look ahead, side to side would be reckless.
After a pool party last year, someone said to me “ do you think you’ll have surgery to remove that skin?” as they pointed to the most insecure part of my body.
Shorts have been my nemesis for as long as I can remember, and even after a 100lb weight loss, they still are.
How I’m perceived in the world has been a long standing internal battle of mine. I don’t say that lightly, I mean a BATTLE in the truest sense.
Are my flaws as visible to everyone else? Do they know this is really me? How many people think this is fake? Is it fake? What is the thing everyone dislikes about me that I don’t know yet? When will I be found out? Cue the Imposter Syndrome cycle.
I have watched friends and I have watched family fade away in private battles. People I would have willingly suited up for. People I knew and didn’t really know; that is how it works.
I didn’t know they were fighting until they were losing. Until I caught my reflection in someone else’s mirror, I didn’t know I was doing the same.